Sports!

U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

In trying to come up with an idea for my last column (CityBeat has set me free of internship duties as of last Friday — and with no cupcake-laden sendoff, either), I turned to an event that may not have been quite as popular four years ago, but is back on the world’s radar as it currently tops all the sports headlines. I have never really been a huge fan of the Olympics. I believed, for the most part, that a lot of the sports were irrelevant. I mean, seriously who wants to sit down and watch handball, synchronized swimming or badminton (though I have to admit badminton, after watching a few matches, is awesome).   

It just always felt like flag waving and dancing around — check highlights of the opening ceremony and all the crazy shit that went on for confirmation of an event meant more for spectacle than sport and competition. But this summer my thoughts have changed, as I have actually watched much of the Games, and with much sadness I say this: I’ve gotten into the lure of the Olympics. I could blame the media hype for this sudden change of heart, but I would rather chalk it up to a few other reasons.

My Brother Is Back In Town

"Hey Chris, sorry we fired you last month before the legal system ran its course. Now that your innocence has justified us having you on the team despite the possibility for tremendous embarrassment should you get in trouble again, would you mind coming back and helping us become a .500 team?"

The Bengals re-signed the oft-arrested Chris Henry today, proving that they are monumental hypocrites and a very, very desperate franchise. You can't stick with a guy through legal battles for four arrests, fire him after the fifth and then re-hire him after he's acquitted. "Oh, dang Chris. Sorry — we really thought you were going to be banned from the league for a year so we said fuck it."

'Dunn and Gone'

Boy am I glad I never have to hear George Grande say those words again. I'm not saying I'm glad that Adam Dunn is gone (even though I am) and I'm not saying that the team should have traded him long ago (although it should have), but if there's one thing we can all appreciate aside from Micah Owings' home run power it's that Dunner puns will no longer exist 'round here.

It’s been interesting to see footage of Dunn and Ken Griffey Jr. playing for their new teams. Griff looks 20 percent better wearing a White Sox uniform, and I’m not really sure why or how. In Chicago the things he does well are actually going to help the team and the things he does poorly aren’t going to be blamed for the organization’s failures. Maybe this is because the White Sox don’t suck — it’s a simple enough explanation — or maybe it’s because he’ll be used in an appropriate role (maybe due to the first reason).

Big Bearcats, Big Dunks, Big Dreams

Recent news out of the UC basketball program suggests that the days of not having anyone who can dunk the ball will soon be over. All reports out of the Deveroes Summer League have been more on the "that kid is so much faster than Jamual Warren" than "well, he kind of has long arms."

For those of us who relish the four months a year we used to watch Bob Huggins' Bearcat teams jam on people's heads -- regardless of their NCAA tournament outcomes -- the coming addition of talented, athletic, aggressive ballplayers is much needed. We, as Cincinnati sports fans, don't have much, but the one thing that I believe we have missed without really understanding how much we've missed it, is college basketball players in black uniforms with CINCINNATI written across the chest actually looking like NBA prospects. And it's about to happen again.