Hailin' the Halen

In 2007, Van Halen (playing tonight at the U.S. Bank Arena) arose from the ashes of a new low point in the band's history and ascended to a most unlikely success by the year's end. The year started out with a truly disturbing appearance by an obviously shitfaced Edward Van Halen at the NAMM convention.

Under a matted mop of graying hair, missing some teeth and slurring his every word, Eddie from Van Halen was filmed and photographed looking more like Eddie from Iron Maiden. When these embarrassing pictures circulated at the same time as rumors of a reunion of the original band, fans were justified in their doubts. We’d heard it all before. The Van Halen fan’s mopey mantra became, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

For many years, David Lee Roth declared the reunion was “inevitable." And for a brief moment in the spring of 2007, it looked like it was really gonna happen. But a Van Halen reunion wouldn’t be the same without one more last-minute cancellation, just for old times’ sake. Sure enough, fans’ fading hopes were dashed once again when the band’s management scrapped a summer tour because Edward was going into rehab. Reportedly, the guitarist’s alcohol intake had become so excessive he was rumored to have one foot in the grave.

Confusing the situation further still, only bassist Michael Anthony and singer Sammy Hagar were on hand for Van Halen’s induction into the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame on March 12, 2007. A dubious honor for sure, and the induction ceremony itself is Certifiable Bullshit. I thought “Something smells funny here” when I saw that only the original bassist and an old fat surfer dude named Sammy were on hand to accept the award. Anthony’s acceptance speech verified the rumor that Edward was indeed in rehab for alcohol problems. Michael and Sammy jamming with the usual Paul Shaffer-led Rock Hall House Band on a few tunes from the “Van Hagar” years was a pathetic and painful reminder that this band has always been about Edward and Dave.

Naturally, Sammy and Michael should be honored along with the rest of the guys in the band. But seeing just the two of them on hand for the induction ceremony made me think they just wanted to grab a little bit of the spotlight refracting off the recent rumors of a reunion. I also read somewhere that Roth had been planning to participate in the Rock Hall ceremony but backed out at the last minute due to a disagreement about what song(s) he would sing.

These undependable rumors are sometimes the only scraps a VH fan has to chew on. But it must have been a pretty serious disagreement if it kept Dave from flashing his ever-present Cheshire grin in the spotlight. Perhaps by this point the members of the band who were slated to be part of the reunion had already begun to circle the wagons and isolate themselves from Those Other Guys.

True enough, Hagar’s tenure in Van Halen was actually longer than David Lee’s original stint as the band’s singer. And in 1986 it sounded like real sparks were flying when Sammy first joined the band. There was a new chemistry and enthusiastic camaraderie in the band when they made the 5150 album with him. But Van Hagar’s new promise soon fizzled. Most agree OU812 was no high water mark for the band, and what success followed was mostly from cheesy power ballads and cookie cutter records containing little or no memorable material. (Though most sold respectably.)

Their fate seemed sealed as a Once Great Joke Ship that now found it couldn’t even stay afloat due to a big hole in its side. The records were boring enough before Sammy quit, only to be replaced by Gary Cherone from Extreme. Cherone himself probably could have told you even then that he wasn’t worthy of carrying David Lee Roth’s sparkly shoes.

The band took an extended hiatus from 1999 until 2003, re-emerging with Sammy briefly back in the band for a Greatest Hits album and tour in 2004. Another period of inactivity followed, then finally, amidst a flurry of conflicting rumors, the newly constituted Van Halen was unveiled at an August 2007 press conference. David Lee was back in the band and Edward’s teenage son Wolfgang had replaced bassist Michael Anthony. At the 20-minute press conference, Edward looked healthy and tan. His grey hair cropped short and spiky, he joked around a little with Dave, who of course did all the talking. They seemed genuinely happy to be in each other’s company again.

Months earlier, in his acceptance speech at the Rock Hall Induction Ceremony, Michael Anthony sent out a prayer for Edward’s speedy recovery. But at the August Van Halen press conference, there was no mention of why Anthony was no longer in the band. Was Edward still pissed at Anthony for touring with Hagar as “The Other Half? ” Even David Lee and Hagar have buried the hatchet, undertaking a most unlikely summer tour together a few years back billed as “Sam & Dave.” (Though reportedly the two exchanged shitty jibes in the press throughout the tour and parted ways unceremoniously at the tour’s end.)

But there must be something more personal about the rift between Edward and Michael Anthony. Persistent rumors claim that the band has taken steps to remove Anthony’s name from the songwriting credits on some of their early records. It’s also been reported that Edward did not want Anthony on the 2004 tour but Sammy insisted on his inclusion. Of course it is impossible to know what to believe when you hear rumors like these. There’d also been speculation that Van Halen would be using pre-recorded tracks of Michael Anthony’s backing vocals on their upcoming tour. But it seems unlikely to me that the same band removing his name from all the songwriting credits he once shared would use Michael Anthony’s pre-recorded vocal tracks in their live show.

I have a very vivid memory of the loose and loud fury that was a Van Halen concert back in the band’s early days. Brothers Alex and Edward Van Halen have always played with such untethered energy in concert. Certainly we all have aged since then, but still it is difficult for me to imagine them using pre-recorded vocal tracks. (Several YouTube clips from the current Van Halen tour seem to depict Eddie and Wolfgang Van Halen ably handing all the background vocals with no discernible assistance.)

At any rate, all the stupid rumors and bullshit were ultimately dispelled when Van Halen finally took the stage on Sept. 27 in Charlotte, N.C., with their new old singer Dave and their new young bass player Wolfy. All reports are that the shows have been great, though Dave doesn’t do the splits anymore, he “can’t hit the high notes” (which he never did anyway) and he’s lost most of his hair.

I’m gonna cut the guy some slack cuz it’s been 24 years, for God’s sake.

As a teenage loser guitar geek who grew up in the ’80s, I worshiped Van Halen. Many years before I had firsthand experience with any of the things David Lee Roth was singing about, I analyzed and emulated every sound coming from Eddie’s guitar. In concert, there was nobody like them. Nothing even close. It was a raging out-of-control party from the minute they took the stage until the house lights came up two hours later, when you would invariably find yourself dazed, winded, red-faced, throat raw from screaming, sweaty and wearing a big stupid grin on your face.

David Lee Roth left Van Halen in 1985 and the band has never been the same — or nearly as good — since his departure. I have been waiting a long time for this reunion, but of course the tickets ain’t cheap. My favorite recurring punchline about the exorbitant ticket prices is “Maybe all those years of waiting for this reunion I should have been saving up for a ticket.” I realize that my sanity could be called into question just for dropping $150 to get a ticket.

Cut me and Dave both some slack, man. It’s been a long time coming.When I was a teenager, a Van Halen concert was something we looked forward to like it was the Second Coming. It was like Christmas, New Years’ Eve, the Fourth of July and your birthday all rolled into one — there was no other band’s appearance in Cincinnati that generated as much rabid excitement as Van Halen. At least among my friends. Those poor, pathetic Rush geeks were another fucking story altogether. The way I always saw it, if you weren’t into Van Halen the joke was on you.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then, but I believe it still holds true. Van Halen was all about having a good time. Drinking, partying, chasing skirt, raisin’ Hell. “Running With the Devil.” “Bottom’s Up.” “Beautiful Girls.” That’s Rock & Roll. Not “Bytor the Snow Dog.” Sorry, dorks.

Back in the days before TicketBastard and Internet ticket sales, we had to wait in line either at the Riverfront Coliseum ticket window or The Gardens or stake out some department store in the ‘burbs that was a designated “Ticketron” location and wait for the appointed hour when the tickets would go on sale. While some camped out overnight outside the venue, my crew favored the Shillito’s department store in Tri-County Mall. More than once we skipped school on the day a big show went on sale.

The mid-morning scene of serenity, replete with mall fountains gurgling peacefully and little old ladies fast-walking their laps, was soon shattered like a sudden thunderstorm as the Shillito’s gate began to rise at 10 a.m. Depending on what show was going on sale, it was often a crowd of 40 or more that gathered outside the store. As soon as the gate had risen high enough for a young person to squeeze underneath on their belly — only 6 or 8 inches required, really — we began to wriggle our way into the store as horrified clerks and helpless store security guards shouted at us in vain, “WAIT UNTIL THE GATE HAS COMPLETELY RISEN!”

Thus ensued a crazed stampede of pimply-faced teenagers, howling like banshees as we tipped over racks of women’s clothing, toppled glass cases of watches and jewelry, leaping over all obstacles and racing up the down escalator to the ticket window on the second floor. Just as quickly as the sudden outburst had exploded we then settled into a quiet and calm single-file line, anxiously awaiting our turn at the ticket window.

As we waited through these tense first minutes, nervously shuffling back and forth while we gazed over the parade of mullets and hair-sprayed, torture-teased permanents in the line before us, occasionally the familiar face of a classmate would emerge from the front of the line. Each satisfied customer held his tickets aloft and proudly proclaimed his seat location on his way back out to the parking lot to smoke a celebratory joint in his Camaro at 10:15 in the morning: “Eighth row, center! SWEET!”

By 10:30 or 11 a.m., the whole scene would disperse, leaving Shillito’s looking like it had been bombed. No doubt we left hundreds of dollars in damages in our wake every time we repeated this routine.

Nowadays buying concert tickets isn’t nearly as fun as all that. Back then it was almost like an athletic event. One bordering on chaos, no doubt. Like roller derby through the lingerie and perfume departments en route to floor seats for VH.

— Ric Hickey

Comments

[C.A. Mac]

Back when I worked for a limo company office, we drove Van Halen to Riverbend. It was 1993. They were very cool to us...didn't want all that special treatment crap. Just a ride, and one smoking car and one non-smoking. That's all I'll say, because I don't remember most of the show, but I did get a hat from them. I don't know where that hat is either.

[Mark Szabo]

I was one of the Rush geeks. I'm hurt, but not that much. At least I got to go to the Rush shows!

[ezra]

dude, don't fuck with by-tor. :)

i've got a photo of dlr signed 'to my buddy ez' by the man himself. he was staying at the carousel inn when the skyscraper tour came to town (1988?). his entourage ordered food from the italian joint where i was working. we usually didn't do delivery, but they offered an extra $50 and i was the bus boy, so i got to take it over. i had no idea who i was taking food to, but when i showed up with the grub (in a bow tie and cumberbund no less!) dave was standing in front of the place with those mirrored sunglasses on picking groupies. i swear it was like that scene in history of the world pt 1 where madeline kahn is picking orgy escorts - no, no, no, yes, no, no, YES! so i told his helper that i had tickets to see the show that night, and he had dave sign a promo pic for me. five hours later i got to watch him ride a giant surfboard over the audience at cinti gardens. plus, steve vai. and drugs. today, i've got little to no interest in seeing vh OR rush. who killed rock & roll? :(

[D Ash]

Wasted or not, he's still a badass guitar player.