Si Likes His Toys Big, Hard and Fast

Sigmund Freud and many early psychologists tried to link most adult impulses to childhood fixations. Although later research shows the theory to be overstated, in the case of Hamilton County Sheriff Simon Leis Jr.’s fascination with big weaponry, ol' Siggy might be onto something.

During the recent campaign to increase the county's sales tax and raise $736 million to pay for a new jail and other law enforcement programs, tax opponents claimed Leis wastes money on unnecessary expenses. Opponents cited such items as a tank that so far has only been used for parades, speedboats, helicopters and construction of a heliport, along with coloring books and Teddy Bears for a children's anti-drug program.

Like Tom Cruise’s character in the unintentionally humorous Top Gun film, Leis feels the need for speed. As well as gun turrets, apparently.

Here’s an enlightening excerpt from a Cincinnati Post personality profile of Leis, done in a question and answer format, from 1995.

“Q: What was your favorite toy as a boy?

“A: A tank. My first child was a boy. We lost him in an accident. One of my fondest memories of him was when we played with the remote-control tank I had bought him. We'd build these obstacles on the floor and have the tank climb up over them.”

Later in the interview, Leis again mentioned tanks, this time recalling an incident that upset him while he was in the U.S. Marine Corps.

“Q: My secret desire has always been to drive a crane, you know.

“A: Do you want to know what I always wanted to do? When I went into the Marine Corps, I went through officer candidate school, and then basic school. Toward the middle of basic, they give you the option to select your top three duty choices. I wanted to be a tank officer. Not too much later I got called into the captain's office and told that the tank billets were closed. To be a real Marine officer, you've got to be a grunt. That's the cream of the crop of the Marine Corps. You've got to be an infantry officer.

“Now I fell for his line, and by George I became an infantry officer. But all the people who didn't buy his B.S., they all got tanks. And to this day, I'm all upset about it. I like that big thing. To be able to roll down the highways and byways and mow down everything in its path!”

Motorists on local interstates, beware.

Chief Deputy Shawn Donovan has defended the sheriff office’s tank, noting it was bought with a federal Homeland Security grant. Whether it comes from a federal or local pot of money, however, it ultimately still comes from taxpayers’ wallets.

Not to be outdone, the Cincinnati Police Department in April spent a $141,000 Homeland Security grant on a speedboat to create its own marine unit — even though the U.S. Coast Guard, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Ohio Department of Natural Resources and Boone County Water Rescue all have jurisdiction and boats in the Ohio River. Let’s hope all the boats don’t run into each other.

Leis also likes toys in his private life. The Post article relates how Leis has a fondness for high-powered convertible sports cars and speedboats.

“Q: Do you have a convertible now?

“A: No, but I'm thinking about buying myself a Camaro IROC convertible. That’s a toy. I need it like I need a hole in my head. But I enjoy life. ...

“Q: You have a boat?

“A: A Sea Ray powerboat. I like speed. It goes about 55 knots. That’s not fast enough. I like speed.”

There’s no word yet on whether Si occasionally enjoys a cigar in his private time.

— Kevin Osborne

Comments

[Marilyn]

Yeah, but he sure doesn't like those big, hard toys that Larry Flint tried to bring downtown.

[Political Junkie]

It's a real shame that politicians don't have the cojones to stand up to Leis and put a check on his ways. Crazy.

[CincyJeff]

Marilyn - I always wondered about that 20 foot blowup doll of Simon Leis. I thought he tried to ban all those type of toys from Hamilton County?

Political Junkie - at least Pat DeWine has stood up to Leis. It would be nice if Deters, Pepper, and Portune would do their jobs and do the same.