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May 2008

May 31, 2008

Coming soon to a Theater near You

Catholic_high_school_girls_1

Coming this summer, to Cincinnati - to a theater near you!

"Catholic High School Girls in Trouble." There has never been a movie quite like this! The LOL Blog has an exclusive clip down below.

How come I couldn't find girls like this when I was in high school?

- Tom Anus

(Image found on Google)

May 30, 2008

Eyeballing the Cincinnati Rich & Famous

Ca_2

I saw CityBeat writer C.A. MacConnell at the CVS Pharmacy on Ludlow Avenue in Clifton.

She was in the card section and had a very intense look on her face while reading a card. I was afraid to approach her.

- Candy Apple

(Photo of C.A. found on Mr. Google)

Me and My Cell Phone

Nocellphonesign

Why I remember this, I have no idea. My mind often stores facts that really aren't that important.

Today, I've had my current cell phone for one year.

You have to understand that only a few years ago, I told to anyone who would listen that I would never own a cell phone, that I had no need to be in constant communication.

A few years ago, I got one. It didn’t work out. I could never remember to turn the thing on and I thought the price I was paying was too much. I got rid of it.

A year ago, I decided again to try and get into the 21st century and I got another one – a cheap Cricket, you know that little blue cell phone. I focused on making every attempt to keep the thing on and actually use it.

Now, I’m like everybody else. I’m in constant communication.

If you come into Madonna’s Bar and Grill on Seventh Street downtown, you’ll often find me having a few drinks and talking on my cell phone. I’m even thinking of upgrading soon.

Look what I’ve become.

- Larry Gross

(Graphic from Wordpress)

May 29, 2008

Question of the Week

Swizzle_cover_2008

If the State of Ohio passed a law that there could be only one bar located within a city, which bar would you want to keep in downtown Cincinnati?

- Brandy Edwards

(Image from CityBeat Bar Guide)

Insane Rich Guy

Rich_man

Here's an e-mail I received last week from "Insane Rich Guy."

Dear lgross@whatever.com

OK, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not going to believe this...

First off, thank you so much for taking a minute to read this, my name is Shawn Casey, and I'm a millionaire that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning, and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away an in-depth Internet "Business-In-A-Box" today. I should be selling this for $497, but...I'm flat out giving it away. Your cost is zero... zip... zilch!

http:// (I deleted it)

You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you'll have this awesome $497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!

Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http:// (I deleted this too)

I didn’t copy the whole e-mail here, but I think you get the point.

Dear Insane Rich Guy:

I don’t know if you’re rich, but I know you’re insane. I received this nine times in one day.

Bottom line: Nothing is free. I don’t believe you, but the sad thing is others might think you’re on the level. Does it make you feel good to take money from people who don’t have it?

Please come to Cincinnati so I can personally throw you under a bus.

Cordially,

Insane Poor Guy

- Larry Gross

(Image from Unique DVD .com)

How to Impress

Carrotmanandwoman

How does a man impress a woman?

Compliment her. Cuddle her. Kiss her. Caress her.

Love her. Stroke her. Tease her. Comfort her. Protect her.

Hug her. Hold her. Spend money on her. Wine & dine her.

Buy things for her. Listen to her. Care for her.

Stand by her. Support her.

How does a woman impress a man?

Being beer.

Come over naked.

- Carol Walters

(Photo from www.lesjones.com)

May 28, 2008

Probably Not Metamora

Metamora

My friend Greg Flannery and I had our "very important business meeting" last Friday night and one of the subjects that came up was that we haven't taken one of our little road trips lately. That's something we plan to correct this summer.

We're not sure where we'll go this time around, but it probably won't be Metamora, Ind. We went there in the summer of 2003 and had such a good time; we just had to write about it. Click here to read the story.

I’m sure that train is still chugging away.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from www.sogonow.com)

Famous Person Visits with Family in Cheviot and Makes a Fool out of the Head of the Family

Cheviot_flag

Well, maybe this didn't actually take place in Cheviot and maybe the whole thing is totally made up, but we had to put up some kind of a post this morning and we all have hangovers here and this is the only thing we could come up with. The video is down below.

- Tom Anus

(Photo from www.gway.tripod.com)

May 27, 2008

Lingering Odors in Indian Hill

Indian_hill

Sandy Holt has it all: A beautiful home in Indian Hill, a loving husband who makes lots of money, two lovely children and a brand new car in the driveway.

But there's one thing Sandy Holt has that we all have: Lingering odors in the house.

Our LOL camera crew was at her house earlier today and caught her horror in the video down below.

Reporting from Indian Hill, this is . . .

- Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter

(Photo from www.underneaththeirrobes.com)

Sally Negative

Cb021819

What a horrible boring weekend. It wasn't any fun having my loser husband around the house for three fucking days, glad he's back at his low paying job today.

I know what's on your mind. No, I didn’t go down to the Taste of Cincinnati. Why stand in long lines and pay high prices for shity food? What a waste of time.

So last weekend was Cincinnati Cyclones Weekend. Big deal. I hate hockey. I wish The Cyclones would move to Kentucky.

I must be off. The neighbor’s cat just had kittens. I’m going to bag them up, take them down to the river and drown them.

- Sally Negative

(Photo of Sally Negative from Corbis. Why don’t we drown her in the river?)