Sex Advice from Sister Ruth Flanders

Dear Sister Flanders,

My husband is a complete loser. He doesn’t make enough money at work and I complain to him all the time about this but it doesn’t do any good.

Our sex life is awful. His penis is so small; I can never tell when he has an erection. He seldom ever wants to screw me and I always let him know what a lousy lover he is. I tell him a woman has her needs.

What I should I do, Sister Flanders, to turn this loser into the kind of man I deserve?

Cordially,
Sally Negative,
Cheviot 

My Dear Sally,

I wish I could be of more help, but you have to understand I’ve never had sex in my life. However, I want you to know that you’re a total bitch.

High Personal Regards,

- Sister Ruth Flanders

(Photo of Sister Flanders from Brown’s Studio – St. Augustine, Fla.)

Comments

[hard as nails]

i think you're more like sister mary eleghant.

[brian]

tying this silly post to the morning post even makes it worse. do you honestly think either one was funny?

[Matt]

Hey Brian,
I've read your comments before. If anyone is seriously "negative" here, it's you.

[Aromatic Bud]

I have nothing but reverence for Sister Ruth Flanders. She gave me a hand in recovering from a lifetime of self abuse. She was a lot more helpful than Ask Doug in that pretender rag across town. I second her opinion of Sally Negative.