And Now for Something Completely Weird

There's a girl around UC that travels by unicycle. Weird. I mean, it's hard enough to cross the street around here without getting killed, but to add a unicycle to the mix, now that takes some guts.

Not long ago, I saw a wedding party march down Ludlow Ave. toasted. And barefoot. Everyone was barefoot, bride and all, in her gown with a long train. Someone else barefoot was half-holding her train. It was pouring out. Wouldn’t want to get half of the dress wet.

A while back, after watching a TV show on a bunch of illegal pit bulls that were saved from being fighting dogs, I started seeing pit bulls everywhere in town. People walking them, petting them. Everywhere, pit bulls. Are they really illegal? They do have scary faces, but I kind of like them. Kind of like my taste in men—if they’re kind of scary, I kind of like them. Sad, but true. And weird.

I’ve noticed that a good way to get a date is to talk to someone you like about how you can’t ever get dates, rather than just asking them out. That way, you can feel the territory first and not look like a loser. And maybe get a few free compliments in the process.

A few weeks ago, I was running through Walnut Hills, when some man jogged up behind me and yelled, “Boo!” Rather than jump, I turned around, stopped, and cracked up. Then he did too. We said nothing. I ran on. He walked on.

Ever notice how sometimes when someone pops into your head, they might appear in your life soon? Weird. A week ago when I was thinking about my new tattoo, it made me think about my friend Jeff, who has one arm covered in tattoos. We met a few years back when we both had an appointment to look at the same apartment at the same time, and he ended up getting the apartment. Damn him. While I was smiling and musing about Jeff and the apartment I never got, I saw Jeff standing outside of a coffee shop. He was back in town for a few days. From Berlin.

When the recent earthquake hit, it woke the cats and me. My bed was vibrating. Rather than check the TV or worry, I said, “Huh, weird,” laughed about the vibrating bed idea, and went back to sleep.

A few days ago, while walking down Ludlow, I saw a man walking a raccoon. Yes, a raccoon on a leash. A big, fat one, sniffing the ground. Most reporters would stop to ask him some questions. Instead, I shrugged and said “Hi.” To the man, not the raccoon. He said “Hi” back and kept walking the critter down the street like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Maybe I’ll take up unicycling.

- C.A. MacConnell

(Photo from www.humboldt.net)

Comments

[Becky]

That's the great thing about Clifton. You see a little bit of everything!

[Tate]

Walking a raccoon? Are you sure you wern't high at the time?

[Jay]

Funny stuff! C.A., I always enjoy your music stories in the paper.

[Burt]

I have a unicycle - it's not exactly the most convenient means of transportation, but I suppose it's better for the environment. Think of all the extra rubber used in a bicycle.