Living Out Loud

Don't Ever Open Up a Checking Account When You're Drunk

Ashamed to say it, but that's what I did a couple years ago at a bank downtown.

Now usually I can get to my normal bank where they know me, but yesterday, I found myself in Covington, wanted to deposit my check and get a little money back. Because I wanted money back, the teller asked me for my mother’s maiden name.

Of course I know my mother’s maiden name and gave it to the teller. He said that wasn’t what was listed on my account.

I couldn’t remember what I said two years ago while drunk and trying to be funny. It caught up with me in Covington. I ended up depositing the whole check.

So here’s a warning: If you plan on opening up a back account and you’re drunk, sober up first.

- Brandy Edwards

(Photo found on Mr. Google)

What Happens When ABBA Meets Dick Cavett?

Something strange. Something a little amusing. Something a bit charming.

From the early 1980's and a Dick Cavett special, check out the video down below.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from ABC)

From the Old Blogroll...

We go to Wonkette.

As a fan of the LOL Blog pointed out yesterday, yes, we like to talk a lot about masturbation here. Why? Because we're childish.

Bill Kristol, new column writer for The New York Times, isn’t childish. However, he is a bit of a jackass. Having said that, Kristol denies masturbating to Obama’s race speech.

To see Bill getting off To get more on the story, click here.

- Candy Apple

(Photo from FOX News)

What I Miss

This is "Best Of" week in Cincinnati. It's CityBeat's biggest issue of the year and it celebrates all the good stuff in this town.

Every year and a few weeks before the issue, Editor John Fox contacts his writers and asks for input. He e-mails me every year about this and most years I can't come up with anything.

Now before you start screaming at me and sending me nasty comments, please know that I’m not good at this type of thing. Let me say right now, there are plenty of good things about Cincinnati and I’ll let the other writers handle that, because they’re a lot better writing about it than I am.

However, for this post, I want to simply state what I miss about Cincinnati. If some of you want to take me to task for doing it and say I’m living in the past, go right ahead.

I miss healthy downtown activity at night. I moved here in the early 70’s and I can remember downtown being packed at ten o’clock at night. There were people everywhere and it felt like a big city.

I miss feeling safe. 20 years ago, I would never have a second thought about being downtown late at night, because there was traffic. Now, I’m looking over my shoulder constantly.

I miss the live television. It was such a staple in Cincinnati for so long. Ruth Lyons, Paul Dixon, Nick Clooney and others kept the city busy with people wanting to get in to see the shows and it was great for downtown business.

I miss having restaurants that are affordable. Once upon a time, you could have lunch downtown at a reasonable price. Not that I’m a fan of fast food chains, but if a person was on a budget, most of those chains were downtown. Now, unless you want to go to Skyline, you’re looking at close to ten bucks for lunch.

I miss winning sports teams. I remember The Big Red Machine days and even when The Bengals would win. This was a sports town. Now we have new stadiums down by the river and teams that are losers.

I miss going to the movies downtown. It was fun to catch a show, then walk to a restaurant afterward to get a bite to eat. Now I have to get in a car and go to a Showcase Cinema? To me, that’s not fun.

Let me stop here before some start saying I'm throwing a wet blanket on the week.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’m going to say it again. Sometimes you have to look at the past to make the future better.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from www.eh.uc.edu.com)

Question of the Week

When walking down a downtown Cincinnati sidewalk, if you see trash tossed there, do you bend over, pick it up and throw it in a trash can?

- Teri Archer

(Photo from Jupiter Images)

A Shower Needs to Be More Than a Shower

I know I'm strange. My boyfriend Tom tells me that all the time.

I'm a morning person. I love to take long showers! I think a shower needs to be more than a shower. It needs to be some kind of event.

Singing in the shower is fun. I often sing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” or “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” or any Janet Jackson song. I love Janet Jackson.

Sometimes the singing gets on Tom’s nerves and he yells at me to shut up. You see, Tom isn’t a morning person.

When he wants me to be quiet, I usually just masturbate in the shower. That can be an event too.

- Candy Apple

(Photo of Candy probably masturbating from Jupiter images)

Change in a Coffee Cup

On my desk at work, I keep an old coffee cup full of change. When my bag gets too full, I dump the change in that cup. It's around if I ever need some money for the vending machines.

Sally, who never seems to have any money, came into my work area last week and wanted to know if I had any change for the candy machine. I pointed to the coffee cup full of coins and said “help yourself.”

That was probably a mistake.

When I started to put some more change in the cup yesterday afternoon, I noticed that almost all the change was now gone. I have a feeling that Sally has been helping herself to my money.

Should I confront her?

- Carol Walters

(Photo found on Google)

Monday's Lunch

There is no truth to the rumor that Skyline Chili will be adding this to their lunch menu next week.

Ever see a person eat a live baby octopus? Warning: It’s a little gross. The video is down below.

- Tom Anus

(Photo from flickr.com)

From the Old Blogroll . . .

We go to the Huffington Post.

Actress Kate Beckinsale would rather eat vagina than sushi? Click here to learn the shocking details.

- Joe Locker

(Photo from scienceblogs.com)

Good Morning

While getting ready to make my way into the CityBeat offices last Thursday morning, I decided to have a little fun while walking downtown - or at least it was fun to me.

I decided I was going to say "good morning" to those I passed on the sidewalk.

Keep in mind I was nicely dressed. I recently got a haircut, so I didn’t look all that scary. I didn’t have that “mean look” on my face.

I had a small notebook and pen in hand as I wanted to try and keep track of the responses I would get.

I started this on Vine Street around where the Arby’s Restaurant is and continued until I reached the CityBeat building at 811 Race Street.

According to my notes, I said “good morning” to 60 people – all genders, all races, all shapes and sizes.

12 said “good morning” back.

Three beat me to it which was kind of nice and a surprise.

One person responded by saying he didn’t have any change.

One older lady blew me a kiss.

The rest just kept right on walking like I wasn’t there. Only 17 out of 60 could respond.

I’ll ask the question again. Why are we known as a friendly city?

- Larry Gross

(Photo from flickr.com)