If you wear nipple piercings, you are a terrorist. When
boarding airplanes, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Last week, a woman wearing these deadly things was stopped
by airport security. Wonkette fills us in. Security made her remove the
piercings before she could board the plane. Apparently the second one had to be
removed with a pair of pliers.
As far as I’m concerned, whatever
it takes. Do you know how small they make guns these days? That’s exactly
what they could have been! Little, tiny guns! She could have taken the whole damn plane down and
even worse, blown up her tits in the process! Thank god airport security was
on top of this.
I don’t know if Diane Keaton wears nipple piercings but I do
know she hates people. Jazebel fills
us in.
At the A & E Blog last week, Rick Pender did an
interesting interview with playwright Melanie Marnich. Her play, “A Sleeping
Country,” is now playing at the Playhouse in the Park. Melanie seems like a
nice woman, true to her country and all that. I’m sure she doesn’t have weapons
of mass destruction pierced on her anywhere.
Why does the Obama people want Hillary ousted? The
Cincinnati Nation gives us some details. Is it because she has nipple
piercings? Doubtful. This race is just too much fun to watch. Take it to the convention.
Seriously.
Let us now go to San Diego where former City Council Member John Hartley got arrested last week. Seems
like Mr. Hartley was peeing in a cup in public. To make matters a bit worse, he
was also masturbating in that cup. The San Diego Union-Tribune gives us more
details.
Mr. Hartley is trying to regain his seat on council and is
running in the current erection election. It’s unlikely he’ll win now but the
good news here is he had no nipple piercings and is not considered a terrorist.
“The View’s” co-host, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, equates Obama’s
preacher man, Jeremiah Wright, with Jeffrey Dahmer. Watch the clip on Crooks and
Liars. Elizabeth Hasselbeck: No nipple piercings, not a terrorist – just dumb.
The Daily Bellwether had an interesting post up last week
about the old song “Take me out to the Ballgame.” It was written for Katie
Casey like a hundred years ago, because Katie loved baseball. Yes, it was a simpler
time back then. . . no terrorists. . . no nipple piercings.
Last Wednesday on the LOL Blog, I wrote a post called What I
Miss and the Cincinnati Blog went ape shit. Man, it’s about time! You guys
haven’t ripped me a new one in ages! Just to keep the “hate” going, yes – I believe
everything I wrote. In a related issue, yes – I’m staying in Newport, Kentucky, but in news that will send joy to
your pierced nipples, I’ll be moving back to Cincinnati at the end of this week. You will have
Larry Gross to kick around some more!
Before I move back, however, I have to go out of town for a
day. I’ll be getting on an airplane tomorrow and while I don’t have nipple
piercings, I must remember to remove my cock ring before hitting airport
security.
- Larry Gross
(Photo from www.funkytownmall.com)
