And Now, a Few Words From Jesus Christ
Happy Easter, Cincinnati! Ha!
Let's start off with an Easter joke:
What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken?
The first rabbit to lay an egg.
Ha-ha-ha!
Pretty good isn’t it? I've still got it despite my advanced age.
It will do my heart good to see all the churches full this morning with you all looking to the heavens and thinking of me.
NOT!
It disappoints me – no, it actually pisses me off – that this is the only day of the year I actually get some attention. You know what I’m talking about. After you go to church this morning, you won’t think of me again until next Easter. You’ll forget for yet another year how I died for your sins. Again, you will toss me aside and go on sinning.
Know what I think? If you would go to church more often, you’ll become a better person, would be friendlier to others and would sin less.
That’s what I think, but what do I know? I’m only JESUS CHRIST.
I can feel some of you getting uptight. Let me close with another Easter joke:
What do you get when you cross the Easter bunny with a spider?
A harenet.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!!
- Jesus Christ
(Graphic from
teachings-of-jesus-christ.com)
I like to think that if indeed, there is a Jesus, that he would focus on loving and not sinning.
But that's just me.
Happy Spring!
Posted by: Marilyn | March 23, 2008 at 08:29 AM
Couldn't you have spared us this silly business on Easter Sunday?
Posted by: Ron | March 23, 2008 at 09:53 AM
cornball jesus. jesus.
Posted by: jackula | March 23, 2008 at 10:52 AM
JC,
You didn't die for my sins and you know it.
You died because you were a radical, like an al Quaida, when tolerance for radicals was even lower than it is today under Dubya.
Also worthy of note in today's political climate: Saudi Arabia has like a rehabilition/7Step program for al Quaida. Dubya is convinced the only good al Quaida is a dead al Quaida.
The Romans crucified radicals first, then killed them by breaking their bones or spearing them in the gut. Dubya waterboards 'em first. Or who knows what in undisclosed locations overseas.
Happy Estrus!
Posted by: David E. Gallaher | March 23, 2008 at 11:20 AM
David, you shouldn't make Jesus angry. Now that he's a blogger, he may say something mean about you!
Posted by: Dee | March 23, 2008 at 11:30 AM
"Now that he's a blogger,"
Dee,
Isn't it funny that Jesus railed against the scribes because they represented the establishment? Now the bloggers/scribes represent the anti-establishment.
Or have most bloggers already been co-opted?
Posted by: David E. Gallaher | March 23, 2008 at 03:51 PM
David, I think this Jesus blogger is a no-Jesus. I don't believe in that stuff.
Posted by: Dee | March 23, 2008 at 04:15 PM
No Jesus.
Know Peace.
Hey, let's give it a shot!
The other bumper sticker hasn't worked.
Posted by: David E. Gallaher | March 23, 2008 at 07:18 PM