Living Out Loud

Greg

I don't like change and a big one is coming into my life today.

This morning, I'm thinking back - thinking of fond memories.

Over seven years ago, the then new News Editor at CityBeat and I were having a smoke in the break room. This was back at the paper's old location at 7th and Vine and back in the days when you could smoke in an office building. The new guy was named Gregory Flannery.

I don’t recall how the subject came up, but we started talking about martinis and how neither one of us had ever tried one. While smoking a second cigarette, we decided we would experience our first one together.

A couple weeks later, we did just that. We went down to nearby Madonna’s and had martinis. We both agreed they tasted like gasoline.

More sooner than later, the martinis went by the wayside, but our getting together did not. Turns out, we enjoyed each other’s company.

Over the course of the next few years, Citybeaters would come to know this weekly event as Greg and Larry’s “important business meeting.” The meetings were held at Madonna’s, then The Washington Platform – then back to Madonna’s and then other places, but it’s always been our weekly ritual. Sometimes guests are invited, but most of the time it’s just me and Greg.

Seven years ago, I worked in the accounting department at the paper, but I was a want-to-be writer. Greg was the seasoned news writer and editor. He took me under his wing and showed me how to make my writing better. Because of Greg, I started to get more writing assignments at CityBeat. If I’m anything as a writer, I probably owe that to Greg. More than once, we talked about my writing while having drinks during our weekly meeting.

Those meetings continue on to this day and we’ve had other adventures too. We’ve been everywhere from Yellow Springs, Ohio to Seattle, Washington. We literally ran to catch a plane in Dallas, Texas and made fun of a bar in Greensburg, Indiana. We always have ourselves a time.

Some of these adventures have made me a little uneasy. Greg is always true to himself and he stands up for what he thinks is right and wrong. He's no stranger to arrests or civil disobedience.

I remember a few years back, Greg planned on being arrested during a protest downtown against the war we're currently in. I walked with him during the protest but I had no plans to get arrested and didn't want him to either, but he had his mind made up. I did bring a camera with me as Greg wanted me to take pictures of his arrest.

When it happened, I got the camera out and started snapping pictures. I was getting myself in trouble by getting too close to the police car. Greg was more concerned about that than those tight handcuffs behind his back. That's the kind of guy he is.

To those who don't know him, he comes across very friendly and kind of quiet. If you're lucky enough to know him, he's generous to his friends. I know this, because I've been down on my luck lately - down but not out.

When a person goes through this kind of down cycle, they really find out who their friends are. Throughout my emotional ups and downs, Greg has been there for me. I'm better now but frankly, I don't know what I would have done without him.  I'm writing about this here, because I want him to know how I feel and how much I appreciate his help.

Over seven years later and all the things we have experienced together and/or talked about - I can’t imagine not having him in my life. When I say Greg is like a brother to me, I don’t mean anything less than that. He’s truly my best friend.

Today is Greg’s last day as News Editor at CityBeat. As I said at the top of this post, I don’t like change and I sure the hell hate this one – but Greg thinks it’s time to move on. I don’t like his decision one bit, but I respect Greg.

There’s no doubt in my mind that our friendship will continue – that those business meetings will live on, but it’s a sad day. In fact, it's beyond that for me. Things will never be the same at CityBeat and I will miss him terribly. 

Later this afternoon, CityBeat will have Greg’s farewell cocktail hour. Maybe just for old time’s sake, we’ll drink some martinis. 

Greg my friend, I love you.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from CityBeat)

Question of the Week

In a tiny effort to clean up our air, if The City of Cincinnati requested that you take the bus into work for one week and leave your automobile at home, could you do it?

- Larry Gross

(Photo: Google)

Reclaiming a Self-Evident Right

There are more ways to get money from a bank than you think.

By far the most frequent and preferred way--the missionary way--is to deposit your own money first.  But you could use a gun. You often hear of that way in the news.

There are other ways.  You can beg for it.  That might get you petty cash from employees, but never money from the bank itself.  As an aside, you can also beg from politicians, employees of government, and you'd be more likely to get money from government than from the politicians.  Ponder that.

But you can also make a legal claim for disputed property that is being held in trusteeship by a bank.  The best known example is the reclaiming of property that was confiscated by the Nazis.  Hard to believe that this is sadly still going on.

What if our inalienable rights were like money?  I'm speaking of the rights which were self-evident to the Founders; among them, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  If those rights were like money, where would you deposit them?  With a bank?  With government?  With your brother-in-law? If rights were like money, would you keep them under your mattress or all wadded 24-7 in your fanny-pack?

The answer is that, like money, many people would spend them, squander them, and otherwise lose them or have them stolen.  To some the loss would cause great hardship.  For others, they would care less.  A minority would deposit their rights with a trustworthy institution where those rights would grow and compound making their owners not only freer but wealthier.

Many of the Founders thought a Bill of Rights was unnecessary if not ridiculous. They felt if rights were self-evident it was silly to go on and on about them.  Duh.  But the Virginia contingent insisted, and the Bill of Rights was adopted a couple of years after the Constitution had been.  So Rights were an afterthought, and slapdash.

The last two of the ten didn't even apply to individuals.  Still it's instructive to note which Amendment was first.

Go reread it to assure yourself I'm not distorting it as I condense it thusly:  “We have the right to put whatever ideas we care to into our minds.”  Let's pause here for a moment to savor how audacious and risky that First Amendment was.

Today, look at the ideas ricocheting around inside the skulls of so-called terrorists.  It's for sure they scare the shit out of President Bush.  So much so that he has stepped on many of our rights to get to his goal of pounding their ideas—sometimes literally--right back out of their heads.

Little Boys in Mt. Airy make Bubbles in the Bathtub - Mother no Where in Sight

A shocking development in Mt. Airy early this morning.

Mary Cleaver left her two little boys in the bathroom alone while she washed some dishes in the kitchen. While she was busy, her little boys made bubbles in the bathtub. We captured it all in the video down below.

Mary Cleaver, her little boys and those dishes are all doing fine.

Reporting live from Mt. Airy, this is . . .

- Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter

(Photo found on Mr. Google)

He won't be Cutting My Hair

I don't know - I thought Robert was gay. I guess he isn’t.

He's the guy who cuts my hair in Hyde Park, does a really good job, but on Saturday morning I think he was a little horny.

I couldn’t help but notice how he kept touching my shoulders. Often times through the mirror, I could see him looking at my breasts.

When he got down in front of me to cut my bangs, yep – pretty sure old Robert had a hard on.

He won’t be cutting my hair again.

- Candy Apple

(Photo of Candy’s breasts from Word Press)

An Attempt to Bring Serious News to the LOL Blog

Often times, this blog is considered silly and totally mindless by some of you. We know this, because we read your comments – and we want you to know that we take them seriously.

No, we can never be the Porkopolis Blog. We don’t have a Kevin Osborne, Margo Pierce or a Gregory Flannery on our staff – but from time to time in 2008, we will attempt to bring some serious news here.

In the video clip down below, LOL focuses in on the serious subject of prostitution.

- Tom Anus

(Photo from pagesperso.orange.fr)

Mr. Congeniality

In the greater Cincinnati area, I have become well known as Mr. Congeniality and I will be a new contributor to this blog.

I'm well known for my pleasant disposition. I'm very friendly and sociable and like to make others feel better about themselves.

Like this gentleman I encountered on the bus the other day. He was a good looking young man – short black hair, blue eyes and nice lips. However, this young man seemed a bit down to me. Since I’m Mr. Congeniality, I thought I would give him a lift.

I took the seat next to his and attempted to cheer him up.

“I just want you to know I think you’re a great looking young man.” I said. He looked briefly at me but didn’t respond to my words. I continued to try and lighten his mood.

“I love your short black hair and beautiful eyes,” I said. Still the young man had nothing to say. Thinking he was probably a bit shy, I took a bolder step.

“If I were a gay man, I would certainly be more than willing to have sex with you,” I told him touching his knee.

Why the young man decided to punch me in the nose, I have no idea. Simply put, there are some people in this town you can’t be nice to – that you can’t reach. As Mr. Congeniality, this is simply my reality.

I will continue on, will try to use my excellent social skills to make others happy. I will press on.

- Mr. Congeniality

(Photo of Mr. Congeniality from www.mc-helper.com)

That Was the Week that Was - In Blogs

Since great minds think alike, I'm sure that some of you regular LOL Blog readers had the same questions on your minds last week that I did. On this Sunday morning, let me help you out with some answers.

Last week, were 12-hour erections on your mind? If yes, click here.

Did you find yourself wondering if Hillary Clinton has ever worn a skirt? If the answer is yes, click here.

Was Sylvester Stallone on your mind and if he was, were you wondering if reviewers give a shit about his new “Rambo” movie? If you’re nodding your head yes, click here for more information.

Were some of you here in Cincinnati considering being a little less uptight and maybe thinking about sampling a local website that gives you local and national news with a bit of a bite to it? Well, of course you were. I’ll show you the way by clicking here.

Did you find yourself wondering what CityBeat music editor Mike Breen thinks about Sean Paul? If so, you can get your answer by clicking here.

Did you think the LOL Blog is long overdue for a tutorial on airbrushing? If the answer is yes, click here to get your fix.

You wanted to know what Dan Savage thinks is the dumbest show on television, didn’t you? Well, click here to get your answer.

Were you wondering about writer Kevin Osborne’s view on WLW’s Willie Cunningham and his GOP spin control? Yeah, me too. Click here to find out.

Was it twisting around in your head that U.S. broadcast journalist Daniel Schorr was dead? Get your answer by clicking here.

Did it cross your mind that John Gibson of FOX news is a complete asshole? Click here to find out.

Are you tired of all this clicking? Then go out and enjoy your Sunday.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from Word Press)

We Interrupt This Program and Bring You News Other Than Watergate

I was a young college kid when The United States Senate Watergate Committee started their hearings in 1973 on the Watergate Hotel break-in that would be the fall of Richard M. Nixon. Click here to learn more.

The hearings were on network television most afternoons and it was a tense time for the country that wanted and needed to find out if their President was a crook. Turns out he was.

I don'€™t know if President Bush is a crook or just stupid -€“ but here we are in tense times again with this war that he'€™s got us into.

It'€™s too bad Match Game isn't around now to help get our minds off this. I was never really a fan of game shows, but I think everybody loved this show.

Below is a video clip from Match Game -€“ classic, silly stuff. Watch Charles Nelson Reilly give a contestant the business.

Enjoy your weekend.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from www.ptgustan.com)

When is My Temporary Roommate Going to Leave?

When Rodney moved in with me, it was only going to be temporary. He lost his job; had no money and I didn't want to see my buddy out on the street. I said he could stay with me for a while.

I live in Clifton and only have a one bedroom apartment. Rodney's been sleeping on my sofa which he says is comfortable. Apparently it is. He’s been sleeping on it for three months now.

He’s getting a small unemployment check, so he’s got a little money coming in – still he never helps pay for any food. The only thing he buys for himself is beer.

We both smoke, but I’m a Winston man while he likes Camels. Rodney’s been smoking my Winstons, because he says he can’t afford to buy cigarettes. I couldn’t believe it when he left a note on my dresser yesterday asking me to pick up a pack of Camels for him – that the Winstons were hurting his throat.

I never see Rodney looking in the paper for work and sometimes I like to have women sleep over. He’s interfering with my style.

Rodney’s my friend but I’m getting fed up. Should I kick him out?

- Joe Locker

(Photo from Jupiter Images)