Living Out Loud

That Was the Week That Was - In Blogs

Let's visit Washington D.C. where Wonkette is reporting that the Republicans are still looking for a decent candidate for president. Here's a suggestion: Let Ronald Reagan run. Yes, he may be dead, but he's better than anything else you got right now - except for Ron Paul.

In Seattle, Washington, The Stranger’s Slog Blog wrote a post called “Visit the Dead Island.” I could compare this island to downtown Cincinnati on the weekends, but being as this is the holiday season, that wouldn’t be in the right spirit.

New York’s Gawker, in their Not at Christmas! Department has a story called “4,000 Horny Jews to Storm Meatpacking District against Christ.” The post says Jewish girls are horny this time of year, namely Christmas time. I wonder if it’s too late for me to get a plane ticket to New York?

Just for laughs, let’s stay in New York and take a look at Sean Hannity’s website. Look at his music club. Good old Sean likes Charlie Daniels, Darryl Worley, Martina McBride and Travis Tritt among others. Mike Breen – your thoughts?

Let’s return to Cincinnati. At the Renewal Blog, Sian Bitner asks the question “Whatever Happened to Love at First Sight?” You don’t get any real answers in the post - you get seven additional questions.

Westender at the Clark Street Blog likes to eat Izzy’s tongue sandwich. He says it taste a lot like beef. I’ll take your word for it.

Jackie Danicki thinks The Westin downtown is a highly underrated space. She likes to sit in their comfortable chairs and have a little quiet time with her BlackBerry. I often do the same, but I don’t have a BlackBerry, I have a BlueBerry. That’s what I call my Cricket cell phone.

With this being Christmas week, I wonder how many local sites will update everyday. I know the Cincinnati Nation will and so will we. Be looking for an LOL Girl post tomorrow.

Oh yeah, by the way: happy holidays.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from blogs.britannica.com)

Question of the Week

In looking back at the past in planning for the future, if downtown
Cincinnati had a movie theater, would you be one of those standing in line?

- Larry Gross

(Photo from ssa.gov)

The Holidays and All That Jazz

As I start to enter Arnold's Bar and Grill on East Eighth Street on this Friday night, an older woman comes out their door. She's a little heavy, kind of short and greets me with a smile.

"Merry Christmas," she says. I smile back, say the same thing to her and then take a seat at the bar.

Sipping on my usual vodka and tonic, somehow I feel touched by the woman. She was so sincere when she said those words to me. She meant it.

I'm a little all over the place tonight - thinking back when I was a small child and when the holidays were the “most wonderful time of the year.” It was all about presents – not about the birth of Jesus or anything close to it.

Justin, one of the bartenders at Arnold’s, brings me another drink. I begin thinking of my recent breakup, tell myself to get my mind off of her which, of course, makes me feel worse. I won’t be spending Christmas with her or any other holiday. We have no future. My mood darkens.

I hammer down the vodka and tonic. I ask Justin to bring me another one.

I step outside for a cigarette. I hear Christmas music coming from somewhere – “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” It’s been years since I've heard the song, but then again, I try really hard not to listen to Christmas music.

I put out my smoke, go back into Arnold’s and start drinking my third vodka and tonic.

I think of my kids, think of all the madness by former wife and I went through buying them expensive gifts when they were little and then trying to figure out how to pay for those gifts the following year.

I think I’m still paying off that credit card debt. Then I think back to the look on my kid's faces while they opened those gifts and I start to smile. It was all so long ago. They're young adults now. And I'm not. Maybe that's why I'm drinking too much this holiday season.

Over to my right, two young girls are laughing and cutting up, probably getting a little drunk. They smile at me. I smile back.

“Hey,” the one with the brown hair says, “would you mind taking a picture of us?”

“Sure,” I reply as I get up from my barstool.

“This is our last happy hour together,” the other girl with the blonde hair says. “I’m moving to Colorado next week.”

I say something back, probably wished her good luck and then take a couple pictures of them. They thank me and I go back to my seat and finish my drink.

I look over at the two girls on occasion. I'm guessing they're in their mid 20's. They have their future all planed out ahead of them. Me? All I know is that something is ahead. What it is, I'm not sure.

I order another drink – one for the road. My mind is back on that silly Christmas song I heard outside.

I finish my fourth vodka and tonic and settle up by tab with Justin. I start to head out the door.

“Wait a minute!” I hear the girl with the brown hair say. She runs up and gives me a hug.

“Merry Christmas,” she says. The girl with the blonde hair is right behind her and also gives me a hug, saying the same heartfelt words.

I thank them and also wish them a Merry Christmas.

Walking home, I find I have tears in my eyes.

The holidays and all that jazz: for me it’s thinking of the past while living in the present and not knowing what the future brings. Yes, for me, it’s often a sad time of the year but right now I'm not feeling that way.

These tears while leaving Arnold’s aren't sad tears – they're happy ones.  It gives me hope when someone wishes me a “Merry Christmas” and I know they really mean it. I got my share of that tonight.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from interiordec.about.com)

I Saw Santa Kissing LOL Girl

 

I Saw Santa Kissing LOL Girl

By T. Connor

(with revisions by Tom Anus)

I saw Santa kissing LOL Girl
Underneath the mistletoe last night
They didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
They thought that I was fucked up in my bedroom smoking weed
Then I saw LOL Girl French kiss Santa Claus
Underneath his nose so snowy white
She didn’t have on any clothes
And I’ll be damn if I know
Why LOL Girl was kissing Santa last night

(Graphic: heavens-gates.com)

Desperately Seeking Susan's . . . Favors

Here's what I had to do, or thought I had to do, to get a little, back when I was in college.

Arranged with my friend, Dave Swenson from Cucamonga,
California, to borrow his moderately souped-up 1958 Chevy.  Picked up Susan from near her girlfriend's house where she had told her grandmother she was spending the night.

Squired her down to Printers' Alley off Church Street in downtown Nashville. That's a spot famous for illegally allowing consumption of alcohol when most of Tennessee was dry (Of course, around campus was wet as well).

We looked around at the various entertainment venues. Settled on Boots Randolph’s club.

Had a few.  Had to excuse myself to get Dave's car back to him.  He had set a curfew on it.  Drove as fast as I could. Plopped keys on Dave's desk.  Ran back out to the highway and began hitchhiking.

Got back to Boots place without losing my place too much.  Although I still have the feeling Boots tried to hit me with spittle as he cleaned the valve of his sax.

We had really good seats.  Susan generously paid her share of the tab.  I was a poor college student after all.

There was a small entrance off the alley to the hotel which had its main entrance one block west.  The entrance of the Netherland Hotel off the arcade into the Carew Tower reminds me of the spot in Nashville. I think it was the Hermitage Hotel.

The privacy of the room, nearness of both a bed and a girl was nearly enough to cause ejaculation.  Putting on the condom was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

Very shortly after, I was startled at the rude noises made by our sweaty, undulating stomachs writhing together.  She was no bean pole.

Next morning we showered together.  First time for that.  Still recommend it.  Susan calls her girlfriend to explain where she was, after a fashion, and that she was on her way to her house.

We catch a bus.  It went by campus on the way to girlfriend's home.

I got off.

- David E. Gallaher

(Photo from www.impawards.com)

I Don’t Like

I wasn't going to write a post today but so many of you were concerned about me yesterday (all right, two of you), I thought I would give you an update.

Having said that, there isn’t a lot I can say about my situation right now. I’ve discussed it with other writers here at CityBeat and until we can figure out a way to tell this so, so true story without getting our asses sued, I’m going to be careful.

Let’s just say that probably during the entire holiday season, my situation will be up in the air.

My days will mostly be spent here at the paper and this is a little strange for me as I usually work from home.

Here I am sitting at Margo Pierce’s desk using a Mac computer. I’ve never used a Mac in my life and I don’t like it.

Kevin Osborne seems nice, but he won’t take my old cat Phoebe who needs a new home so I don’t like that.

Greg Flannery won’t go outside and smoke with me so I don’t like his attitude.

Danny Cross is too busy working and doesn’t have time for me so I don’t like feeling hurt about that.

I guess I’m full of things that I don’t like these days. I’m waiting for the times to get better.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from cooleys.chattablogs.com)

Life Drama

My guess is things for me aren't going to be normal for the next couple days. When things aren't normal, I can't spend a lot of time attending to this blog which all 12 of you seem to enjoy.

(Thank god it’s more than 12)

Today is production day at CityBeat, so I’m not going to ask other staff members to fill in for me here. I’m asking you the reader to be a little patient.

Want a teaser?

I’m going through some “life drama” even as I write this. Things are about to change for me rather quickly and much to my surprise. At some point I’ll write about it (man-oh-man, will I ever) but not right now.

In trying to put a positive spin on the bullshit that’s happening, all I can say is paybacks are hell.

I’ll be back as soon as I can.

- Larry Gross

(Photo found on the internet. It has nothing to do with the post, but maybe some nudity will keep you coming back for the next few days)

Monday's Lunch

Who the hell likes Mondays? I think for most of us, we try to make the best of it.

Every so often on this day, I'll invite some of my friends over for lunch – and every so often, I like to have a little fun with them.

I’ve captured the fun in the video down below.

Oh, by the way, we had eggs for lunch.

- Tom Anus

(Photo: Jupiter Images)

The War on Drugs

When I wrote last week's Living Out Loud column, "Drug Choices," I was pretty sure I would get some mail on it. I wasn't disappointed.

The mix was unusual. Some found humor in the essay, some agreed with what I was saying and, of course, a lot of you think I’m just plain nuts.

As I say in the column, drugs are an addiction – not a crime. We need to treat the addiction but only if the person wants it treated.

Let’s try and carry on a discussion here today.

The war on drugs: is it worth the effort or is it a waste of tax papers money that puts innocent people in jail?

- Larry Gross

(Graphic from www.sweatshopproductions.com)

That Was the Week that Was - In Blogs

Let's leave the wonderful world of Cincinnati and go to other places just for a little bit. Come on, it won't kill you.

Gridskipper takes us to New York showing us that city's fancy bars and restaurants. I guess it's nice to read about - but fancy certainly isn’t in my everyday world. If I want to eat a fancy meal, I’ll prepare it myself and as far as fancy bars – why pay more for a drink and get less? Please remember: I’m a grump who doesn’t like to spend money.

In the northwest somewhere, Scott at the Northwest Shark Blog asks the question – “is Pat Buchanan an idiot?” Wow, Scott, do you really need to ask?

In the “who cares” department, lets visit L.A. where The Huffington Post is telling us that Jessica Simpson’s latest movie is going straight to video. Question: how many of you actually enjoy her singing or acting? Isn’t it really just her looks? Be honest.

Leaving L.A. lets head on up to Seattle, Washington. Dan Savage at The Stranger’s Slog Blog says that conservatives can’t sing let alone govern. Watch the video and you’ll get his point.

Feeling homesick? Yeah, I knew it. Let’s go back to Cincinnati.

The Renewal Blog had an interesting post last week written by Stephen Carter-Novotni called “Obesity: Victims of Success.” Of course, if this post was up on this blog, we would have included a photo of a very fat person – but that’s just the way we are here.

Last week, Richard Hines at The Cincinnati Nation reported on some restaurant closings in Over-the-Rhine. Here’s another question for ya: is it possible for OTR to ever get back to what it was before the riots?

Yet another question: do you think the “regular” media tells you everything? Of course not. Kevin Osborne had an excellent post up last week at the Porkopolis Blog regarding Cincinnati Police Chief Thomas Streicher and his spending habits. All I can say is what a guy.

At the A & E Blog, Michael Schiaparelli wrote a post called “Sobering Thoughts for the Holidays.” It was about how hard it is for some people to stay sober during this time of year. I’m not trying to make light of the post, but I have no intention of doing this. I’ll be heading to New York - going to some of those fancy bars that Gridskipper suggested.

No, that’s a lie. I'll stay in Cincinnati. I’m trying to talk Madonna’s into staying open on Christmas Day.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from www.barmanakademie.cz)