Living Out Loud

That Was the Week that Was – In Blogs

On my God! Cincinnati has black people living here?

The Cincinnati Beacon picked up on some blurbs over at The Cincinnati Nation web site about how CiN Weekly is all lily white and about how the media coverage of last weekend's Oktoberfest showed no people of color in attendance. Wow. Please understand that the reason why I'm so shocked is I get all my news from the CiN rag and local television stations. Black people do live here after all? Despite being shocked, I think I can handle it.

Speaking of The Cincinnati Nation, they reported last week that Coco’s bar and restaurant over in Covington has closed its doors. This is just plain sad. I mean if this great place was located in Cincinnati, it would have closed years ago but in Covington? I don’t get it.

Wonkette last week provided us with a clip of a new television show called “In The Know.” If you enjoy Larry King, this is another hard hitting news show to watch. Powerful. Powerful.

Dan Bockrath over at the Porkopolis Blog reported how The Cincinnati Enquirer devoted its Sunday form section to the serious topic of obesity – followed up later in the week with a recipe on pan macaroni and cheese. Question: Does The Enquirer want us all to die from obesity? Judy Darling will be reporting on this next week if we can get her off her fat ass.

New York based Gawker reported last week how newspapers are stuffing their web sites with blogs. The New York Times leads the way with 40 active blogs. How come CityBeat only has six? This needs to change immediately. Early this week, I’ll be having a meeting with John Fox to discuss additional blogs I’ll be in charge of. In addition to the LOL Blog, I’ll be doing a daily blog on Cincinnati restaurant closings, one on how black people really do live here and yet another daily blog posting recipes on how to make macaroni and cheese.

- Larry Gross

(Photo of black people out having some fun from www.pbase.com)

Cincinnati Photo of the Week

By God, would you look at that? What would LOL Girl do if she ran into this…..this….mess? She would probably run in horror.

I bet her legs are no different at all. Who ever you are, please watch the video down below and shave before its too late.

- Tom Anus

(Photo of hairy woman from funnypicturesworld.com)

Good Looking Lonely Man Can't Get Dates Because of His Beard

Wally Smith, who lives in Westwood, says he can't get dates because of his beard.

"When it’s time for play and the gang is gay, I’m usually sitting alone," explains Wally. "I shave everyday but by the late afternoon, my beard is already starting to grow back."

Because of his loneliness, Wally spends most of his time here at the LOL Blog reading silly, ridiculous posts.

Wally, watch the video down below and take notes. In no time at all, you’re be out and about with the women (or men – whatever the case might me) and getting everything you want.

Yes, I’m a reporter, but I know how to show concern. You’re welcome, Wally.

Reporting live from Westwood, this is…….

-Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter

(Photo of lonely Wally found on Mr. Google)

 

Question of the Week

If suddenly Cincinnati became less conservative and allowed strip clubs downtown, would you visit them?

- Joe Locker

(Photo from www.zeek.net)

When The Calendar Hits October

I knew he would show up here today.

This is the time of year when I get in a funk and I always know exactly why.

I can tell myself I need to get over it and move on and that he wouldn't want me to be sad. He would tell me to remember the fun we had and the laughs we shared together.

I can do this some of the time, but never in September. On September 27, 1994, my twin brother Jered died of AIDS.

I always want to look the other way when September starts. I wish it could blow over me like a cloud or that I could sleep for the entire month. In September, I think too much. I think too much of the past.

I got word of how ill he was on labor day that year - 1994, and the whole month was intense – flying up to Seattle where he lived, watching him get better, then me coming back to Cincinnati, then that phone call from his doctor saying I needed to come back right away, because he had taken a turn for the worse. He was dying.

I didn’t make it back in time and I'm thinking that's the main problem I have with September. It's a regret I can't seem to shake. I was boarding the plane when I got paged and was told he had died. It hurt not being with him. It still hurts.

The days in Seattle after he died were busy making funeral arrangements, cleaning out his apartment, looking over his finances and taking crying breaks when I couldn’t stand it anymore.

Maybe it’s true that all of us have one thing we can’t get over in our lives. I lost a friend a couple weeks ago that I’m still upset about. Both my parents are gone. I lived through a divorce and the painful separation from my children – but losing Jered is the one big blow I can’t seem to get over and I knew he was going to show up on this blog today. I just knew it.

Let me be in my funk for awhile longer. I’ll be back to my normal self, whatever that is, when the calendar hits October.

- Larry Gross

(Photo: Jered and Larry growing up – 1956)

The Disquisition

Janeane Garofalo and I go way back. No, I've never actually met her, but I've always enjoyed her humor, her honesty and her liberal views. Did I mention that she's smart too?

She does a thing on the Henry Rollins cable show called "The Disquisition" - check out the video down below. It's filmed in her apartment in New York. It's very smart.

Janeane, come to Cincinnati so we can hang out. I think you're cool.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from zabout.com)

Making Dinner Memories

Restaurants have been around as long as I can remember being alive. I would even guess that the first caveman had a place to congregate with friends after a hard day of hunting and fishing. Restaurants are a major part of our American culture. You probably can't drive more than a few miles without passing at least one local eatery.

"Restaurants have always served as a social oasis for friends and family to enjoy quality time together over a relaxing and rewarding dining experience," said Steven C. Anderson, president and chief executive officer of the National Restaurant Association. "Family time in restaurants is most evident during the month of August, as Americans are traveling and dining out more to enjoy the last bit of rest and relaxation before kids head back to school and everyone resumes their busy schedules after the summer.”

Anderson also mentioned that the restaurant industry is a major part of the travel and vacation industry because everyone dines out on vacation. Restaurants are an important part of our culture because they provide the stage for many of our finest moments. For example, a restaurant can serve as the perfect backdrop for: meeting places, engagement parties, birthday celebrations and business meetings.

Some of the best times of my life were spent in various restaurants with my late grandfather. My grandfather and I were very close until he passed away in 1998. He was a WWII Navy veteran and a former pilot.

I can remember all of the great stories he used to tell me. He lived a full life and I enjoyed hearing about it. I also remember telling him about all of my dreams, goals and disappointments. He lived in another state so we only saw each other a few times a year. I remember that each time he would visit; we would select a local restaurant as our meeting place to catch up on life.  He was truly a wonderful man and I would sacrifice a week of my life to share another cup of coffee with him.

I celebrated four of the most special moments of my life in a restaurant, they were: my wedding anniversary and my graduations from boot camp, high school and college.

While attending college in the 90’s, I spent many years working in several local restaurants as a waiter. It was certainly an education for anyone that was interested in learning about people. It’s funny though, it didn’t seem to matter whether someone was an attorney, physician or an athlete; regardless of appearances or financial stature, people are just people. 

Retarded E-Mail of the Week

I recently heard from Barrister Daniel Sampah.

Dear Friend,
This message might meet you in utmost surprise; First of all I want you to know that this is not a scam mail, my reason for saying this is that most mails we receive these days on the internet are scam intended. Because based on what is going on all over the internet, people find it very difficult to believe letters like this any more. I want you to know that where there is real, there is also fake.

I am Barrister Daniel Sampah, a personal lawyer to one late Mr. Ruth Fred Leo An American oil Contractor with the Ivorian Solid Minerals Corporation, here in Abidjan Ivory Coast who died in an auto Crash in September 2006. Later Mr. Ruth Fred leo before his untimely death, made some deposit of funds with a Finance firm here and did not declare any information of any of his relatives to the said fund deposit.

Where you come in is that I needed your good collaboration to pull out these funds to overseas for investments because, he left with me the deposit information and no body could come around to lay claim if not I and a foreign partner in good collaboration since he did not leave any information of any of his relatives.

Kindly get back to me in order to bring you to the detail arrangement on how to move out the funds across to your destination.

Kind Regards,
Barrister Daniel Sampah

Hey Barrister Danny,

Do you know how many of these things I get a week? And they always start off by saying it’s not a scam.

By the way, Danny, your e-mail came to me in my junk mail.

To show my softer side, I’m very sorry about the passing of your friend and client, Mr. Ruth Fred Leo. I feel even worse that he had to go through life with a name like that.

- Joe Locker

(Photo from madskipper.com)

It's Always Something

On Saturday, I went into my kitchen to fix myself some lunch - was going to have some soup. My new stove that replaced the very old one that didn't work, also now wasn't working. I think when the maintenance man came in to finally get me some hot water in my bathroom; he did something to the gas line connected to the water heater. Whatever it was, it killed the stove.

I now can take a warm shower, but now I can't fix myself something to eat.

Of course I have a microwave, but it also doesn't work. You see the one I brought with me when I moved downtown was too powerful for the electric circuits. My landlord gave me a smaller one – but again, it doesn't work.

It’s always something.

From June through August, I couldn’t listen to my stereo, because there weren’t enough electrical outlets in my study. That has recently been fixed.

Also on the plus side, my coffee maker is no longer in my bedroom. This was resolved by adding additional outlets in my kitchen. Also starting this month I have been able to plug in my toaster.

When people ask me how it’s going for me downtown, I probably send off mixed signals – like my living space. I’m living in one of the oldest apartment buildings in Cincinnati. It has character and charm and I have plenty of room. It’s a neat old building.

But I want everything to work.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from jupiterimages.com)

Monday's Lunch

The girl out to the side here looks like she's having a perfectly normal lunch. In the video below, this can't be normal.

I have no idea what these people are eating, but the people are eating out of Kittie. What the hell is this? Give it a look.

- Tom Anus

(Photo of girl having a perfectly normal lunch is from www.toothpastefordinner.com)