Living Out Loud

Monday's Lunch

I don't really want to know what the hell these fools are eating, do you?

Tom Anus

(Photo found on Google. I think these assholes are eating beans)

Hitting Children

I saw it again last week – more physical abuse with a small child. 

I was on the bus heading home. A young mother was also on the bus with her little boy. I’m guessing he was two-years-old. 

The little boy would not stop crying. The women slapped his face which made the crying worse. Then she picked him up from his seat, turned him around and started spanking him hard. She spanked him until he stopped crying.

 

It’s Miller Time!

Saturday nights are party nights at my house and we had ourselves a time last night. We had Price Hill rocking.

And there’s nothing better at a party than good old Miller beer. I took some videos last night and being the nice guy I am, I’m sharing them with you today. Click on the old You Tube down below.

I gotta get on my wife to get this pad cleaned up.  As for me, I’m going back to bed.

Paul

(Photo from thisoldhouse.typepad.com. I kind of feel sorry for the little woman who had to clean up after this)

Your Thoughts?

Got up kind of early this morning. Had some coffee, smoked some cigarettes and looked over CityBeat’s new blogs. 

Some of them aren’t new. “Porkopolis” has been around for awhile. The Arts & Music blog has now been split into two seperate blogs. “Spill It” is about music (I think this is going to be a winner, folks. Mike Breen is really into it) and “A & E” (why the most recent post is from March 16, I have no idea). 

Of course, the “Living Out Loud” blog isn’t new but being up with the rest of the CityBeat blogs is. It caused some confusion yesterday as some of the regulars couldn’t find us. The confusion was fairly brief and I think we’re back on track. 

I don’t always like change and this was a little hard for me to get through. I want to thank Hannah Roberts at CityBeat for taking my hand, telling me it’s all gonna be all right, and for all her help in getting the new LOL blog ready. I don’t know what I would have done without her – her and that bottle of vodka. 

Take a look around at our new home and give me your thoughts. Yeah, like I had to ask. 

Larry Gross

(Graphic - you know, the question mark - from wikimedia.org)

Anna Nicole Smith Is Alive and Well and Living in Westwood

On February 8 of this year, Anna Nicole Smith faked her own death. Reports are coming out of Cincinnati that she has bought a house in Westwood on a side street off Montana Avenue.

“She’s kind of quiet but kind of hard to miss with those big tits of hers,” said a man sitting on a porch in Westwood, smoking a joint. “I can understand her wanting to come here to Westwood. I mean, it’s such a rich community.”

“Well shit, I thought that was her coming out of Kroger’s,” said a woman shopping at the Kroger’s on Harrison Avenue. “How come she doesn’t have her baby with her? She can’t be much of a mother - and did we ever determine who the hell the father is? I’ve kind of lost track.”

Life, Love & Sex after Divorce

I’m been divorced for something like 13 years now. Man how time flies.

During that time, I’ve had my share of relationships. Some worked out to some degree; others failed almost right on the spot. I’ve written about it a few times in the old column. To read one I wrote a few years back, click here. I’ll wait.

I’m still waiting. Did you really read it?

What do you think? What kind of sexual relationships have you had after the big old d-i-v-o-r-c-e? Did they work out or do you wish you could go back to married life again?

Larry Gross

(Photo found in Larry’s wallet)

Cincinnati Photo of the Week

The girl drinking from a pitcher of beer while taking a piss or dump on the toilet is

A. LOL Girl caught at a bad moment.
B. Teri Archer caught in a routine moment.
C. A writer in her office over at CiN Weekly.
D. Really a guy in drag who appears to have very cute legs.
E. We don’t know what it is – just found in on the internet.

Tom Anus

(Actually, we know where we found this - killingsometime.com)

The Right to Bear Arms

“To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.” (Richard Henry Lee, Virginia delegate to the Continental Congress, initiator of the Declaration of Independence, and member of the first Senate which passed the Bill of Rights.)

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” (Second Amendment to the Constitution.)

“The great object is that every man be armed… Everyone who is able may have a gun.” (Patrick Henry, in the Virginia Convention on the ratification of the Constitution.)

My first exposure to guns was when I was about ten years old. My father would take us to trap shoots; but back then we called them turkey shoots. No, they didn’t shoot turkeys, only clay pigeons. A fresh or frozen turkey was the prize.

I was proud of my father, because he excelled in this sport.

Question of the Week

What makes you think your shit don’t stink?

Tom Anus

(Photo of Paris Hilton found on the internet - Google, Yahoo - somewhere. We forgot to write down where we found it. What Ms. Hilton is sucking on we’re not quite sure)

 

I've Never Been to Maine

I’ve never been to Maine.

My grandma owns a house in Florida and my sister who also just had a baby bought a new Jeep and said I could ride with them so basically, free trip to Florida minus my food and beer money.

I’m going to apply at Delta. I used to work at Comair, got to fly for free. People used to fly to Maine all the time for lobsters. In fact, one of the guys I was friends with at delta was from Maine and he told me lots of stories.

I miss the airport.

Do you have any ideas for another stay at home job for me? Besides babysitter, phone sex operator or envelope stuffer???

Candy Apple

(Photo of Candy’s stomach who has never been to Maine is from Deviant Art)