Living Out Loud

From the Old Blogroll. . .

We go to Jazebel.

From their "Pot Psychology" department, we bring you "How Do I Tell My Boyfriend About My Yeast Infection?" Click here to get the full report.

- Carol Walters

(Photo of yeast obtained from Mr. Google)

Meet Cincinnati's New Shoe Shine Gal

Sometime today, head on over to Fountain Square
and meet Dolly.  She's Cincinnati 's new shoe shine gal!

She'll shine your shoes and give you a little something extra. Just in case you can’t make it there today, check out Dolly in the video down below.

Reporting live from Fountain Square, this is . . .

- Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter

(Photo found on Mr. Google)

What if Television had Never Been Invented?

Obviously, Flavor Flav would have to quietly find his own female companion.  That would be a blessing in and of itself.

There would have been no Ed Sullivan Show, so The Beatles would have stayed in England. That would have made some people sad, some people glad.  I remember the first time I saw their pics and said to my husband, “Look at that hair!”

World events would not be as vividly depicted, because reading and hearing about something is not even close, in my opinion, to actually seeing it live.

I’m sure you remember the TV coverage of the Gulf War.   It was scaring the adults; let alone what it was doing to our children.   This was also true of 9-11.  Every time they repeatedly showed those buildings being blown up, children thought it was happening all over again.  Psychiatrists were telling U.S. TV watchers to take a break so they wouldn’t become depressed.

And where would the Presidential hopefuls be?  No eye witnessing of facial expressions or debates. I’ll leave that up to your imagination simply because I want to be politically correct. 

And the infomercials.  One half hour of how to get rid of wrinkles or how to cleanse your colon.  How could we live without that?

A very cryptic overview, you argue?

OK.  Legitimate information and news of such a wide scope could not be covered by the radio or magazines.  As a society we really need all that.  So, I believe, this is the positive and necessary side of the invention of the television.

XX number of years later they’ve invented the remote to accompany each television.  Most of you remember the family argument that involved who was going to get up out of their chair and change the channel or rearrange the rabbit ears. 

I could make a list of pure and real things in life.  Television would not be on that list.  However, thanks to the remote we can solicit the channels we want and, miraculously, even use the off button.

- Not Quite A. Rooney

(Photo from www.dkimages.com)

That Was The Week That Was - In Blogs

Happy Mother's Day!

I don't want to bring anybody down, but did you know all Republicans hate all mothers including yours? Wonkette gives us this shocking information.

Last week, The Cincinnati Nation informed us that more shoppers (including mothers) are seeking shelter from economy discounters. Good! In the past, I’ve known some people who wouldn’t dare be seen in a Family Dollar Store. How silly. Why the hell pay more money than you need to? Didn’t your mother teach you better than that?

Last week, from Jezebel: “Paris Hilton’s Doggie Polos Mean the Terrorist Have Won.” I always suspected it.

I hope Marc Dann’s mother gives him a hug today. Our Ohio Attorney General sort of had a bad week last week. John Fox at the Porkopolis Blog fills us in.

I think Lindsay Lohan’s mother should put her daughter in a corner. Lindsay has been dropped from the Manson Girls movie, because other name actresses don’t want to co-star with her. Deadline informs us that Lindsay doesn’t play nice with others.

Is 30 Rock starting to suck? Gawker doesn’t think so.

To the mother of Chris Matthews: What’s up with your son’s hair? It looks. . .different. The Huffington Post is the first to notice this strange development.

Speaking of strange, The Dean of Cincinnati had to call the police last week. How long did it take for them to respond? The Cincinnati Beacon fills us in.

Still haven’t gotten your mother anything for this special day? How about getting her the Uno? Dan Savage at the Slog Blog gives us a full description of this most wonderful gift.

And finally, a message to Chelsea Clinton: Hey Chelsea, be extra nice to your mother today. With the primary results in Indiana and North Carolina last week, it appears Obama is the one who will be making the run for the White House. Crooks and Liars give us the details.

I have mixed feelings about your mother but I admire the fact that she's a fighter. Chelsea, get her a nice card and make it a Hallmark. Care enough to give the very best.

- Larry Gross

(Photo from www.blogs.cisco.com)

Girls Kissing Other Girls

I know most of you guys out there won't get this at all, but a girl kissing another girl is as normal as night and day.

It doesn't mean we’re lesbians — not that there’s anything wrong with that. We just understand each other more. Tell me: Do you know of any man who completely understands a woman?

The video down below is for the ladies, but if guys want to watch it too, be my guest. Besides, how can I stop you?

— Carol Walters

(Photo from Wordpress)

Question of the Week

With the good old internet, people can pay most of their bills on line these days.

Tell me, when was the last time you wrote a check?

— Larry Gross

(Graphic from www.videoeye.com)

Meeting a Porn Star at Ninth & Race

This happened a week ago, last Friday afternoon.

I had just left CityBeat world headquarters and was standing outside at Ninth and Race downtown. Greg Flannery, editor of Streetvibes, was picking me up to go over and have some drinks in Covington. We both drink. We both smoke. Covington made a lot of sense.

It was raining just a little. I watched a girl cross the street. She smiled and stood with me for a while.

She was kind of heavy but kind of pretty too: long black hair, brown hairs, wearing very tight jeans.

“Man, my friend didn’t show up,” she said.

“Your friend?”

“Yeah, he didn’t show up,” she repeated. “He owes me some money.”

I thought to myself: Here it comes. She’s going to ask me for money, and I was going to give her a couple bucks to help her out. I started to reach into my back pocket for my wallet.

“I sure could use another job,” she said.

“What kind of work do you do?” I asked.

“I make movies,” she said. “I’ve been in a lot of porn movies.”

If my mouth dropped, I don’t remember. After she said that, Greg pulled up in his car.

I remember telling her “good luck.” If she really is making porn movies here in Hamilton County and gets caught, she’s going to need all that luck she can get.

— Larry Gross

(Image found on Mr. Google)

Testing Your Knowledge on Your Hometown

Let's see if you can guess the answer to this. . .

Originally built in 1848, this became a tavern in 1861 and is Cincinnati's oldest bar. Which one is it?

Is it the Washington Platform at 1000 Elm Street?

Maybe you're thinking it's the Cadillac Ranch at Fountain Square Plaza.

Or is it. . .

Arnold’s at 210 East Eighth Street?

The first person with the correct answer wins a small can of V8 Vegetable Juice (Low sodium). I can’t stand the stuff.

— Tom Anus

(From left to right: Brandy Edwards, Carol Walters, Teri Archer and Judy Darling - LOL Blog Reporter. Photo from www.punchstock.com)

He Calls Me His Little Doggy

I've been going out with Henry about three weeks now. At first the sex was great, and we did it in all positions — but I found out rather quickly that his favorite position is doggy style. He really likes the rear entry and has said he enjoys looking at my ass as he's pounding away.

Having sex this way is fine at times despite the fact that I do find it a bit demeaning. Now it's gotten worse.

We were in Tina’s downtown last night having drinks, and a friend of his walked in. He told his friend my name and then said, “Teri’s my little doggy.”

I knew exactly what he meant, and so did his pal.

Do you think I should break it off with this Henry guy?

— Teri Archer

(Photo of Teri and Henry doing it doggy style from www.z.about.com)

Zinc Oxide and You

As all you regular LOL Blog readers know (all five of you), we try to be all things to all people. Today, we want to educate you on Zinc Oxide.

Who needs Zinc Oxide? You do. We all do. Without it, life wouldn't be the same.

Please take a few minutes and view the educational film down below.

— Tom Anus

(Photo of zinc oxide from www.chemivetmalaysia.com)

Eyeballing the Cincinnati Rich & Famous

I saw Tricia Macke on West Seventh Street walking toward the FOX 19 studios. She's really pretty. So cute and tiny!

In other words, I can't stand her.

— Candy Apple

(Photo from FOX 19)